O dearest God beside me, I think of you today,
Because of the troubles that have burdened me
Appear forever here to stay.
I ask you now to help me overcome this heavy lot
And for this I feel guilty, because I know that I have not
Kept my previous promises to be a good and truthful Christian
Promises made in times like these but in better ones forgotten
And at those times I act as if you’re not even there
And interpret, to my better judgement
Your commandments as not fair.
For I sometimes look on others as something less than me
And show favouritism to one group, and think it Christianity
And I have on some occasions taken a sly advantage
To increase the coffers of my wealth
And preen my pretty plumage.
I condemn what others do because it’s not what I have done
I uphold the principle of love yet let my elders live alone
So I know that I have sinned and only now will I try
To make amends so you might help, but all the while I lie
For when you have helped me through this lonely troubled spell
I will forget about it, and like a stone into a well,
Once the ripples of guilt are gone, I will revert and go right back,
To my sinful, willful ways and the understanding that I lack.
But you, Lord, are not so fickle, and patiently stand right by
And do not see my imperfections as a reason not to try
So even if you do not grant what this day I demand
I’ll make a bigger effort to regard your laws as not too grand
And I’ll do something Christian, not once, not twice, but ten
0, thank you God, for your understanding, and for using it. Amen.
Written by Eleanor Hall
Published here 09 Feb 2021 and originally published May 1997
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